Category Archives: Uncategorized

Episode 131: You Can Smell it Before You See It

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Episode 130: Pause it for the Pod

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Episode 129: The Crawl

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Episode 128: America’s Got Beans

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Episode 127: Croquet Bouquet

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Episode 126: Your Honor

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Episode 125: Saving Mister Banksy

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Episode 124: Yummy Yummy Yummy

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Episode 123: Fab Tab

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Episode 122: The Yanni I’m Yused To

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Episode 121: Steven Reads the Paper

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Episode 120: Billy Corgie

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Episode 119: Tell Me About It

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Episode 118: Controvulsy

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Episode 117: Scary Home

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Episode 116: Horsekicker

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Episode 115: Boss Bfjs

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Episode 114: Big Pouch Man

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Episode 113: Maxine

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Episode 112: Poisonality

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Episode 111: Bring Down the Bag

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Episode 110: A Bouquet of Bad Karma

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Episode 109: Footloose (2011 Film)

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Episode 108: Late Show Host Submission Tape Episode

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Episode 107: The Island of Used-Up Child Actors

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Episode 106: Quality–Value–Fun

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Episode 105: Worm Week

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Episode 104: White Vans

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Episode 103: Alabama Kissing Party

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Episode 102: An Overflowing Space Toilet

studio intern Jush here. This week’s episode is a little less xtreme than I’d like. Like on a scale of grinding fresh powder on top of Mt. Rushmore and visiting the Liberty Bell, this is the visiting-Lincoln’s-birthplace-and-grinding-on-the-edge-of-that-giant-stump of podcasting. Jon’s … Continue reading

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Episode 101: Wall-D

* * * show notes will hereon be handled by network intern Jush * * * hi all todays episode of jrtp podcast on the BLASTR AUDIO NETWERK is REAL HOT ALL and comedy of REAL SIZE its mad fresh … Continue reading

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Episode 100: The Blaster Audio Netwerk

Call it a comeback. Truly I thought that was that for the show. I was at the end of my rope, but then I was handed…another rope. In the form of the Blaster Audio Netwerk! Starting next week, Jon Reads … Continue reading

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Episode 99: 170 People on Facebook can be Wrong

If you will, allow me to get REAL with you. It has been a good two years and change that I’ve been doing this podcast and I think it’s time to throw in the towel. My dear pappy always told … Continue reading

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Episode 98: The Real World: Ugly People

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Episode 97: Smash and Slash

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Episode 96: Read Only the Comments

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Episode 95: Smeltsy

Hi people one day in the future from yesterday and four days from Thanksgiving! Did you have a good Thanksgiving, which was three days ago yesterday, when I was thinking about how you might respond to this question about how … Continue reading

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Episode 94: Cookies.

Happy coincidental (but commercially exploitable) conjoining of popular holidays! I hope you’re having a safe and happy Hallowumbus (we all know how dangerous Hallowumbus can be). As you sit back in your recliner, glass of sherry in your hand, the … Continue reading

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Episode 93: Hallowumbus Day

And a Hearty Hallowumbus to you too! Coming straight at you from two days in the past, it’s yesterday’s news. Join my self and Nariko Ott as we devote most of our conversation to the intense battle between Homeland and … Continue reading

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Episode 92: Owl Boy Leaves Hospital

Put on that opinion cap; it’s time for Jon Reads the Paper! Joining me this week are Comedy Palz Jimmy Newstetter and Christian Ricketts who are both empirically the best. You might remember them from comedy and being on this … Continue reading

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Episode 91: Bob Dylan’s NetForce

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Episode 90: Any Given Sunday

I had to search and make sure I didn’t title another episode “Any Given Sunday,” because it’s such a bad title I surely had used it by now. But here it is. All original. I made sure. I Googled it. … Continue reading

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Episode 89: Shoetopia

I am pretty jazzed with this episode. I even monologize and try to make enemies! Steven Wilber (you know him from vine) joins me this week. I know this is a brief description, but if you’re interested in being my … Continue reading

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Episode 88: Frappuccinos and Firearms

I’m way sorry if this is how you have to hear the news. On a podcast. That you can’t take your gun into the Starbucks anymore. It’s fiercely uncool and totally impinging on my ability to be a free American. … Continue reading

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Episode 87: More Than a Dozen

What is it that makes a men, hm? Is it duty? Honor? A tireless crusade to make hemp legal while maintaining status as the only non-hippie in the lobby? Who knows? David Mascorro does. He sure does. Please enjoy this … Continue reading

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Episode 86: Sea of Gloves

Tynan Delong! You know him from Frasier Jr. From playing Ryan Gosling in “Only God Forgives.” From New York. Now. Know him from this appearance on Jon Reads the Paper! I’m also quite excited to say we have a new … Continue reading

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Episode 85: SUPERCOMPUTER! Live at Dante’s

That is right! One more live episode coming to your ears. It’s been too long. This time, I sidelined the news, and we read Choose Your Own Adventure book #39: SUPERCOMPUTER. My wonderful panel includes Brian Nickerson, Jason Traeger, Joann … Continue reading

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Episode 84: 12% of a Sunday

Super Fantastic episode this week! I’ve been meaning to get her on the show, and finally, via the miracle of Skype, I present my rad and talented sister Erin! Any slowness to the conversation is my fault; I thought it … Continue reading

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Episode 83: Cremains

It’s always wonderful when a plan comes together. Like on the Mr. T show. This week, I finally get Marissa Louise on the show. She’s an excellent illustrator, a former co-worker, and all-around great person. We talk about Ed Snowden, … Continue reading

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Episode 82: Love in the Fast Lane

Joy of joys, it is another podcast episode of my podcast! This week, the delightful Jeremy Eli  (I don’t have a link for him, but…you know) jumps into the fray to untangle Carlos Danger, Danica Patrick, and BEARS.  Truly, this … Continue reading

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Episode 81: Beerability

What a super time we had on this week’s episode! For some reason during the episode I try to make the guests a surprise, but for the sake of backlinks (if I used that term correctly; I probably did not) … Continue reading

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Episode 80: Conversation Robot

SHOW NOTES TO FOLLOW! JUST ENJOY THE GOODNESS

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Episode 79: Can You Hear Me Now?

HULLO. This is a hyper-interesting episode of Jon Reads the Paper. This week I take my first call, and not just any call, but an interview with a Newsmaker, in what I like to call our new NEWSMAKERS segment. Please … Continue reading

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Episode 78: Khakis and Kids

Another week, another newspaper inches closer to its fate. The Oregonian recently announced huge cutbacks on staff and delivery frequency as print media flops around and tries to figure out what’s up. Blithely criticizing it with me this week is … Continue reading

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Episode 77: Fun Guns

This was a gosh-darned fun episode to do. This week we have Curtis Cook in the building, talking about the Pacific Northwest and our collective desire to leave. Please check out Curtis; he’s doing some of my favorite comedy in … Continue reading

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Episode 76: Every Breath You Take

It’s always hard when your favorite character leaves a show. This episode is a tearful goodbye to great guest and great guy Jeff Oliver, who was not just a character on this show, but a a character IN OUR LIVES. … Continue reading

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Episode 75: Boy Scouts

This week I step into the octagon with Shane Torres, all-around good guy. I’m not sure what else to say here; we pretty much say everything in the show. Enjoy it; it’s one of the good ones! (There are no … Continue reading

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Episode 74: The Slatest

Nick Walker joins me in a monumental task in Jon Reads the Paper history. This week, I’ve been afforded an amazing opportunity in the “journalism” world. I can’t say much more and you should probably just enjoy the episode instead … Continue reading

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Episode 73: Tubalicious

Sometimes I’m not sure if there is a point to the show notes. If you read the show notes, and email me, I will send you a quarter of a dollar. That’s twenty-five cents American. This week I have Art … Continue reading

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Episode 72: Pope Book

What a pleasure this week has been, what with all the art theft and recovery. I’m way glad to have Xander Deveaux on the show this week, fresh off a super notable appearance on the Paul Goebles Show with Gallagher … Continue reading

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Episode 71: Friendship Festival

I don’t know what to say. It’s been a stellar weekend for me. The 2013 Bridgetown Comedy festival has come and passed, and now I’m posting a podcast from during it. As far as I can tell, a big part … Continue reading

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Episode 70: Severe Acute Respiratory Syndrome

We are mere days away from Bridgetown (my first as a performer). Every sort of pride, stress, excitement and joy to be found in Portland comedy is this coming weekend. If you’re in town, check it out. There’s no better … Continue reading

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Episode 69: Hornets! Hornets!

Paul Jay, Zak Toscani, Anthony Lopez, and Sean Jordan all make a giant podcasting sandwich with me today. Come take a bite of this sandwich it isn’t weird you’re the one making it that way.

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Episode 68: From Dusk ’til Lon

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Episode 67: Gina, I love you

Let’s not make every post the “I haven’t posted here in a while” post. I’ma get better about punctuality. Part of why this episode took so long was schedule calibration. Like a month ago, I had Nic Goans on the … Continue reading

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Episode 66: Angels and Demons

Back again as if nothing ever happened, it’s one more episode of Jon Reads the Paper! This was quite probably one of the most fun episodes I’ve done. There was plenty in the news what with that broken boat and … Continue reading

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Episode 65: Master Splinter

I’m experiencing a lot of guilt about how long I sat on this episode. I may or may not have mentioned, but I moved a couple of weeks ago, and I haven’t yet set up internet service. The building I … Continue reading

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Episode 64: The Axes of Evil

I have no real excuse for putting this episode out so late other than I just moved and don’t have an internet connection at home and that’s more of a reason than an excuse. Right now I’m in a crepe … Continue reading

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Episode 63: Dr. Mike’s Vasectomy Reversal

Such goodness this week. According to massive media, you’re all sick with the flu. So once you’re sick of all that sweet sweet daytime television programming, why not pump a little Jon Reads the Paper into your system? This week, … Continue reading

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Episode 62: Smart House

Yeah. I’m sure you thought you were off the hook. You’re not. You’re just not. Coming back at you, in full force, it’s one more episode of Jon Reads the Paper! This week I’ve got Gabe Dinger and Christian Ricketts … Continue reading

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Episode 61: Rosebud

The Sunday New York Times is insane. It turns out there’s a lot of news that’s fit to print. We didn’t even get to any of the stuff by that puzzle dude from the radio. Marcia Belksy joins me this week … Continue reading

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Episode 60: King Rat

“Maybe my second-favorite thing about the internet.” -Shane Torres

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Episode 59: Jon Reads the Menu

The other week, I was about to get in a car with some other comics to do a show out of town, and almost took my mic and laptop with me, thinking: “Four funny people in a car? That’s a … Continue reading

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Episode 58: Powering Down

This is it: the post-election relief episode! I’m pretty glad to be out of the thick of the election and can go back to being secure in my lack of informative-ness. This week, we’ve got Chuck Frederickson of the Chuck … Continue reading

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Episode 56: Bullets and Botox

Laugh all you want at these sexy nurse Halloween costumes, but god forbid you get in a sexy automobile accident and need a sexy blood transfusion. Ha ha ha. But seriously. We’re deep into the fall, the election’s just puttering … Continue reading

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Episode 55: Cops with Laptops

So how about that debate last night? I didn’t watch it, but I’m loving these memes. Can’t get enough of these memes. As soon as I walked into that bar, and they were playing the after-the-debate coverage, I knew this … Continue reading

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Episode 54: Confirmed Bachelors

I can only apologize so many times. We skipped last week due to geographical shift and general laziness. But this week’s Jon reads the Paper is way thematically appropriate! New Roommate and General Good Guy Phil Schallberger joins me as … Continue reading

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Episode 53: Something Unpredictable

Truly, it is. But, in the end, it’s right. This week, I have long-time listener, first-time caller Zak Toscani on the show. It’s a good one. We talk about Harry Potter, Green Day, and No Doubt. You know, important stuff. … Continue reading

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Episode 52: Say Hello

This week I have little friend of the show Tynan Delong on, after way too long. Get as much of this kid as you can; he’s moving to New York soon and you’ll want to be able to say you … Continue reading

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Episode 51: One Good Singularity

Hi persons, places and things! After one busy week off, I’m throwing you a rare, shambling orphan episode! It’s been like six months since I’ve done this, but I bring you one more guestless episode, in honor of what I … Continue reading

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Episode 50: Live on Ice!

Hello Internet! It’s so great to bring you today’s episode, recorded live at the Tonic Lounge on a dimming August 22nd evening. This show went very well and I totally didn’t have any stress dreams about the sound not working … Continue reading

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Episode 49: Wookieleaks

I’ve been quite excited to have this week’s guest, Nathan Brannon, on the show. When I started doing comedy in Portland, he was one of the most funny and relatable voices I found on the local scene. In the last … Continue reading

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Episode 48: What’s News

People! Yes! Today’s episode brings our first look at the Wall Street Journal since Nic and Campy and I tackled it like before last Christmas. Delving into the abyss with me is the always-game Arthur Hickman. This is a grand … Continue reading

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Episode 47: Cheese Bizkit

This is something of a tardy episode. But then again, it’s also an episode where we talk a bit about Linkin Park. So, you know, angst and tardiness go hand in hand. This week I have the irascible Dan Duncan … Continue reading

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Episode 46: Bootanical Gardens

So much happening in the world! London 2012! Mitt Romney! The iPhone! So mostly this week we talk about the Hobbit. I mean, three movies? What the hell? This week I have Scoot Herring in the basement. Be sure to … Continue reading

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Episode 45: Meet Cute

What a pleasant surprise this week’s episode is. I walked away from recording yesterday with a sense of dissatisfaction that I misinterpreted as being me not liking the result of a very odd chat with Steven Wilber and Mandie Allietta. … Continue reading

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Episode 44: Walla Walla

Let’s get into it, son! This week, I talk about cancer, blood, death and onions with Sean Jordan. I think we keep it relatively light; it was hard to find a positive spin on all that onion stuff.

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Episode 43: Zoot Suit Riot (Riot)

Oh my goodness. It’s America’s birthday and I couldn’t be more in observance of it. But today, as you nurse your corn and potato salad hangovers, treat yourself to a little Jon Reads the Paper. Listen while you mow the … Continue reading

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Episode 42: Panic!

And so we have the second appearance of the great Shane Torres on the podcats. If you haven’t listened to Shane’s first episode, please enjoy that one at your leisure. It’s one of my favorites for our ability to both … Continue reading

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Episode 41: mSurface

Throw out your iPads, all of them you own. There’s a new tablet in town, and it’s quite set to gently blow your mind. This week, Danny Felts (of the Spicy News Network and general video awesomeness) and I finally … Continue reading

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Episode 40: Pride and Prejudice

It’s the most wonderful time of the year! Pride! Living in the liberal burg of Portland certainly helps put Pride at the forefront of my awareness. It’s finally sunny out, perfect parade weather. And you all know how devoted to … Continue reading

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Episode 39: Father-Son Space Movies

I really feel like we broke through this week. It’s been 37 episodes since I last tried to mine the Old Grey Horsefucker for humor laffs. That episode came off fine, if a bit uneasy and dry. Now I know … Continue reading

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Episode 38: Ribbers and Razzers

Sometimes you try to do a good thing. You try to help out a couple of old-timer comics making their way through a press junket by having them on your show. And sometimes they razz you. And that’s just not … Continue reading

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Episode 37: Mister Moviefone

I’m quite glad to have Christen Manville back in the show this week. We hit one of the most nagging topics in my brainspace for quite some time: the fate of Mister Moviefone. I can’t tell you what happened to … Continue reading

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Episode 36: Charles Dickens Elementary

Oh, hello. Didn’t see you come in. Hiding something? Behind my back? Oh, this? This is nothing; just a little present. It’s an episode of Jon Reads the Paper, just sorta threw it together. Thought you might like it. There’s … Continue reading

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Episode 35: Red Asphalt

I’m way excited this week to bring you a new cultural perspective. After many weeks and months of presenting you with the whitebread angle of the Oregonian, I’m proud to launch the Columbian directly at your face (if you consider … Continue reading

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Episode 34: Talkin’ Shop

This is a nice, mellow little episode. The Bridgetown Comedy Festival was in town this weekend, and along with it, Seth Milstein. Seth drops by with the Eugene Weekly, which we don’t give too much attention, as we’re having such … Continue reading

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Episode 33: Breadstix!

It’s only one flipping day into the 2012 Bridgetown Comedy Festival and I am all manner of beat. There’s a billion amazing comics and shows this weekend, and I just got done hanging things on walls and putting ice in … Continue reading

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Episode 32: One Million Jon Washingtons

I know all of you all have been griping about the lack of sperm talk on this podcast. It’s been weighing heavy on my mind as well. Sperm has been weighing heavy on my mind. So talking about sperm with … Continue reading

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Episode 31: 5-Minute Rule

I think that saying too much about this episode could ruin the novelty, which, in the end, is all this episode has. Tim Anderson, Zach Cole, Danny Felts, Bryan Fernando, Iris Gorman, Venu Mattraw, Jimmy Newstetter, Stephanie Purtle, Christian Ricketts, … Continue reading

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