Sometimes I’m not sure if there is a point to the show notes. If you read the show notes, and email me, I will send you a quarter of a dollar. That’s twenty-five cents American.
This week I have Art Santana on for a chat. He works at Ground Kontrol, one of my favorite places in Portland! We talk about the shape apple pie comes in and eating cinnamon and just food and its extremes in general. It was a genial time. Come get genial with us, won’t you?
What a pleasure this week has been, what with all the art theft and recovery.
I’m way glad to have Xander Deveaux on the show this week, fresh off a super notable appearance on the Paul Goebles Show with Gallagher (of racism fame). Please enjoy us as we stumble through yesterday’s New York Times!
I don’t know what to say. It’s been a stellar weekend for me. The 2013 Bridgetown Comedy festival has come and passed, and now I’m posting a podcast from during it. As far as I can tell, a big part of Bridgetown is comics doing one another’s podcast during the daytime as they recover from the daydrinking of the day before.
Emmett Montgomery joins me this week in splendor! He dresses like a classy whaler and is truly a delight of a human being.
We are mere days away from Bridgetown (my first as a performer). Every sort of pride, stress, excitement and joy to be found in Portland comedy is this coming weekend. If you’re in town, check it out. There’s no better opportunity to see some of Portland’s best mixed in with the whole nation’s best. And Nature’s Best as well.
In our excitement, I bring you Ian Karmel, who is always a joy in reality and on the show. You can hear his past appearances here and here, if you so want and wish.
Let’s not make every post the “I haven’t posted here in a while” post. I’ma get better about punctuality.
Part of why this episode took so long was schedule calibration. Like a month ago, I had Nic Goans on the show, but the episode just wasn’t my favorite (a lot of intermittent crying, most of it unplanned) so I wanted a do-over. And here it is, and it is well worth the wait. Enjoy it nonetheless.
I want you to know this was the first time I ever spelled “nonetheless” right the first time.
Back again as if nothing ever happened, it’s one more episode of Jon Reads the Paper!
This was quite probably one of the most fun episodes I’ve done. There was plenty in the news what with that broken boat and the pope quit and the President made a speech. Navigating these stagnant waters with me this week is Anthony Lopez, one of the funniest people I know.
Oh, and I forgot to mention what happened with the live episode on this episode. Maybe next episode. Great, now I’m having an episode. ACK!
I’m experiencing a lot of guilt about how long I sat on this episode. I may or may not have mentioned, but I moved a couple of weeks ago, and I haven’t yet set up internet service. The building I moved into provides a free–but very slow–connection, and it can’t handle uploading a 45-megabyte file.
I have no real excuse for putting this episode out so late other than I just moved and don’t have an internet connection at home and that’s more of a reason than an excuse.
Right now I’m in a crepe place and I came here thinking it would be more of a cafe but it seems like more of a sit down and have dinner or have dessert when you’re the kinda person who treats dessert as its own separate outing like you ate at home but you went out for dessert kind of place. And on top of that, there’s only one outlet in here and it’s right next to the one other person in here so I’m just right over her shoulder frantically ticking and ticking and ticking away at this keyboard I bet it’s really cheesing her off.
Very happy to have Alex Falcone on the show, who was nice enough to let me use his equipment. Kind of made me feel like I was on his show, Read it and Weep. (What a seamless plug!) Joining as well is Barbara Holm, who writes on Falcone’s Late Night Action and is a delightful person to boot!
Such goodness this week. According to massive media, you’re all sick with the flu. So once you’re sick of all that sweet sweet daytime television programming, why not pump a little Jon Reads the Paper into your system?
This week, I have Jeff Oliver and Steven Wilber help me make heads and tails of, well, mostly television. It’s just so hard to watch television these days, y’know?
In the good news department, I’m happy to announce the second ever live taping of Jon Reads the Paper! Thursday, February 7, at the Tonic Lounge in sunny Portland! Tell your friends! Stay tuned for the lineup!
Yeah. I’m sure you thought you were off the hook. You’re not.
You’re just not.
Coming back at you, in full force, it’s one more episode of Jon Reads the Paper! This week I’ve got Gabe Dinger and Christian Ricketts joining me. It gets fun. It gets serious. It gets somewhere in between. Truly I enjoyed this episode, as you will. By force. You have to enjoy this podcast.
The other week, I was about to get in a car with some other comics to do a show out of town, and almost took my mic and laptop with me, thinking: “Four funny people in a car? That’s a podcast.” Sometimes I’m about to go to the grocery, and I think: “Hey, maybe I should make a podcast of this.” I’m still deciding whether or not to release the running commentary I recorded while pulling an ingrown hair.
Laugh all you want at these sexy nurse Halloween costumes, but god forbid you get in a sexy automobile accident and need a sexy blood transfusion. Ha ha ha. But seriously. We’re deep into the fall, the election’s just puttering away, and omigawd I’m putting pumpkin in everything.
This week sees the delightful Andie Main joining me on such topics as Big Bird, Botox, Boy Scouts and Gentleman Giraffes. It was a delightful chat. There were even callbacks! And animal death. Lots of animal death.
So how about that debate last night? I didn’t watch it, but I’m loving these memes. Can’t get enough of these memes. As soon as I walked into that bar, and they were playing the after-the-debate coverage, I knew this would be one meme-worthy debate. And boy howdy, did the internet prove me right!
Oh, and during the debate, I was doing this podcast with Nick Walker. He was funny. We both was funny, really. Get down!
I can only apologize so many times. We skipped last week due to geographical shift and general laziness. But this week’s Jon reads the Paper is way thematically appropriate!
New Roommate and General Good Guy Phil Schallberger joins me as I read the Oregonian that shows up on our porch mysteriously every day. It’s like that show “Morning Edition,” except we get the same paper that everybody else does. Listen to us delve through the mire of election politics! It’s fun of course!
This week, I have long-time listener, first-time caller Zak Toscani on the show. It’s a good one. We talk about Harry Potter, Green Day, and No Doubt. You know, important stuff. And we only digress into Portland Comedy talk like twice!
I hope you have the time of your lives, listeners.
This week I have little friend of the show Tynan Delong on, after way too long. Get as much of this kid as you can; he’s moving to New York soon and you’ll want to be able to say you knew him when he was in short pants. They’ve got a weird dress code thing in NYC. Keep yourselves glued to the Facebook and my Twitter; I’ll soon be announcing a second live episode of the show. Excitement! And again, thanks for bearing with the rather erratic schedule of the show as of late!
Hi persons, places and things! After one busy week off, I’m throwing you a rare, shambling orphan episode! It’s been like six months since I’ve done this, but I bring you one more guestless episode, in honor of what I thought was the year anniversary of the show.
I’m in the process of a move, and admittedly, have been very spotty at getting episodes of the show done. This might continue through to October, but please bear with me as I slowly right the ship. We will be sailing ahead at full steam as Fall comes upon us.
It’s so great to bring you today’s episode, recorded live at the Tonic Lounge on a dimming August 22nd evening.
This show went very well and I totally didn’t have any stress dreams about the sound not working or the microphones turning into butter. Luckily, you can at least faintly catch the audience’s approval, along with the tinkling keys of Mr. Ira Novos, who randomly appeared like so many wild Pokemon.
I’ve been quite excited to have this week’s guest, Nathan Brannon, on the show. When I started doing comedy in Portland, he was one of the most funny and relatable voices I found on the local scene. In the last year and a half, I’ve only seen him get bigger and better. Enjoy!
In other news, tonight’s the night! Jon Reads the Paper Live on Ice is happening at the Tonic Lounge at 9:30. Come out! It’ll be good. If you’re out of state or don’t know what’s good for you or something, the episode will be up next week. Even the Portland Mercury and Oregonlive recognize my rad-ness! Excitement!
This is something of a tardy episode. But then again, it’s also an episode where we talk a bit about Linkin Park. So, you know, angst and tardiness go hand in hand.
This week I have the irascible Dan Duncan on the mic. We go over the Oregonian, talking fluoride, Olympics, and Shark Week. I hope you get this as it’s coming out, because I’d like to imagine you tucked in bed and listening in your jammies. Not in a weird way; just a mildly distressing way.
So much happening in the world! London 2012! Mitt Romney! The iPhone!
So mostly this week we talk about the Hobbit. I mean, three movies? What the hell? This week I have Scoot Herring in the basement. Be sure to check out Rippletron, and his yet-to-be-titled Dungeons and Dragons project.
And our live show is coming up soon! August 22nd, 9:30pm at the Tonic Lounge in Portland! It’s going to be quite rad.
What a pleasant surprise this week’s episode is. I walked away from recording yesterday with a sense of dissatisfaction that I misinterpreted as being me not liking the result of a very odd chat with Steven Wilber and Mandie Allietta. It turns out that dissatisfaction came from my realization that I’d have to now return to the boring hum-drum of everyday life. So here it is, world: an hour of reprieve from your dull-ass lives.
Oh my goodness. It’s America’s birthday and I couldn’t be more in observance of it. But today, as you nurse your corn and potato salad hangovers, treat yourself to a little Jon Reads the Paper. Listen while you mow the lawn down to sort of match the burned-away patches from those illegal fireworks you didn’t take much time thinking of placement before you set them off.
And so we have the second appearance of the great Shane Torres on the podcats. If you haven’t listened to Shane’s first episode, please enjoy that one at your leisure. It’s one of my favorites for our ability to both make laughs and keep it real.
This episode leans more towards the real, so prepare yourself for that. Still, there’s a lot of stuff about Elmo and basketball, so be ready for some megalaffs.
It’s the most wonderful time of the year! Pride! Living in the liberal burg of Portland certainly helps put Pride at the forefront of my awareness. It’s finally sunny out, perfect parade weather. And you all know how devoted to parades I am.
I really feel like we broke through this week. It’s been 37 episodes since I last tried to mine the Old Grey Horsefucker for humor laffs. That episode came off fine, if a bit uneasy and dry. Now I know that the problem was me all along, because this week Whitney Streed and I did it! We read the New York Times and at least made one another giggle consistently. So I guess I’m saying I hope you’re into consistent giggling, because it’s going to be a bit part of the next sixty minutes of your life.
And I mentioned it at the end of the show, but next Friday, June 8th, is Helium’sPortland’s Funniest Person Contest. It’s a contest, which means it’s super-relevant and important. Come on out; my round is at 7:30. Mention my name when you call for tickets and get two for ten bucks. Or e-mail me an e-mail to try and get on the comp list!
Sometimes you try to do a good thing. You try to help out a couple of old-timer comics making their way through a press junket by having them on your show. And sometimes they razz you. And that’s just not okay.
I have a lot of conflicted feelings about this week’s episode. A lot. But I decided to be the bigger man, and put the episode out. Were they jerks? Was I overreacting? You decide. There’s only one right answer, but you decide.
I’m quite glad to have Christen Manville back in the show this week. We hit one of the most nagging topics in my brainspace for quite some time: the fate of Mister Moviefone. I can’t tell you what happened to him; you’ll just have to listen and find out.
I’m way excited this week to bring you a new cultural perspective. After many weeks and months of presenting you with the whitebread angle of the Oregonian, I’m proud to launch the Columbian directly at your face (if you consider your ears a part of the face) and give you a whole new whitebread angle for your butt to ruminate on.
Jeff Oliver joins me this week as we navigate underemployment, film concession studies, and the menace behind the wheel we call the elderly. If you’re in the Portland (or Clark County) area, please come down Thursday, April 26 and see us rock your socks off of you at Ground Kontrol for No Pun Intendo.
This is a nice, mellow little episode. The Bridgetown Comedy Festival was in town this weekend, and along with it, Seth Milstein. Seth drops by with the Eugene Weekly, which we don’t give too much attention, as we’re having such a pleasant little conversation about life, the universe, and maybe a dash of comedy shop talk.
It’s only one flipping day into the 2012 Bridgetown Comedy Festival and I am all manner of beat. There’s a billion amazing comics and shows this weekend, and I just got done hanging things on walls and putting ice in things that are meant to hold ice. All that after a morning of job work, and I’ve managed to bring you another crackerjack episode of Jon Reads the Paper to boot.
Joining me earlier this week, my special lady friend Blue and my regular manfriend Danny Felts did all manner of paper-reading. Due to time constraints and things getting “too real,” the episode ended on a sorta odd note. Last night, we got together and recorded what became the second half of this week’s Jon Reads the Paper.
I’m way proud to say that Jon Reads the Paper is now a prize-winning show. Prestige! It’s now “the prize-winning podcast, Jon Reads the Paper.” Keep those e-mails coming, especially the link exchanges and wonderful cash euro prizes.
This week I have the wonderful Jessie McCoy in the studio department with me reading the Asian Reporter. We talk about riding the bus!
I’m Xtremely happy to have Jen Allen on this week’s episode! We get into the Oregonian, which means there’s plenty of talk of Skull and Bones, Powerball, and Internet Safety. I also get into some weird talk about what’s happening in my work life, which is always a totally professional move to make whilst doing podcasting.
In other housekeeping, I’m urging you fervently to send me your emails! Stories, feedback, general fat-chewing. I want to hear it all!
Oh, and if you wanna hear that This American Life Episode I allude to, you can hear it here. But listen to every episode of my show first.
Yesterday we recorded a very special Leap Day episode. And keeping with the relevance of Leap Day, we’re reading the Southeast Examiner, which is chock-full of stuff that totally applies to you and me. Watch out for that pool closure!
This week’s episode is brought to you by Shoe City! Come on down for our Post-President’s-Day Sale! Tell ‘em Jon sent you!
Today I’m reading the USAToday with Tynan Delong, and I’m here to say that we really get into it. This week’s news includes Siri, the Oscars, and that unfortunate incident where all Afghanistan burned down.
Get into it! Also, admire our new logo! Write a comment on iTunes and like us on Facebook!
The Star Wars references (and reverence) hits critical overload this week, with a blast from the past. Rather than produce new content, this episode is a special archival clip from the early years of Jon Reads the Paper, all the way back in 1998, when Lou Bega was a thing.
Joining me this week (in both the present and past tenses) is the perennially nervous Steven Wilber. He’s a very funny man, who is woefully wrong: this episode, controversial as it may be, must see the light of day.
Tune in next week for something less disappointing.
Today’s episode was recorded on Superbowl Eve, so we don’t have all the details, but I assure you, we do quite a job of hiding it! So congratulations to the winning team! Wasn’t it crazy when they did that thing that made it a sure thing they’d win? I wish them well in the coming season and hope they return well-rested from whichever Disney theme park they elect to visit.
This week in the studio department I have the illustrious Ian Karmel, man about town. He knows more about sports than I do (it’s a fact), and possibly even more about Star Wars (that’s doubtful). Find him on the Facebook (of which we all now own stock of, right?) and the Twitter.
But seriously, how ’bout that halftime show? They must’ve spent more on codpieces than Rick Santorum does on SEOs (zing).
It’s been a moment since I’ve done an episode like this. Lack of planning and schedule alignment have resulted in the first solo Jon Reads the Paper since the debacle of Episode 9.
I’m not sure what there is to say about this episode; I forget most of the things I said in my coffee-addled stupor. I know I’d like to dedicate this episode to my cat, who has been there for me, against her will, this whole time.
This week I have on the show Nick Walker, who has never button mashed in a Zelda game. We take a vaguely cynical look at hipster culture through the lens of the obscure weekly Chinatown Newspaper, a publication described on its own website as “Hip, edgy, comical, professional, and raw.”
So if you’re looking for hip, edgy, professionally comic rawness, you’re in luck.
Also in this episode, we find out just how much I love to talk about how much I hate the movie “Daredevil.”
Look out gang, it’s a phantom episode of Jon Reads the Paper!
That’s right, instead of talking about anything actually relevant, I have Jay Jay Menudo in the studio apartment with me to discuss the future. It’s a highly improbable story, torn from the…pages…of the Twilight Zone.
So grab your longboard, sit yourself close to the ipod with a mug of macaroni hot chocolate, and listen to the story of the man in the glass tower, all by himself with his lady friend.
Very quickly it turns out, the joke is on all three of us.
Join us, will you, as we navigate sci-fi, occupy, shake weight, and Tom Cruise’s stolen eyeballs. We’ll be your dungeonmasters through this barrow den we call current events. So be sure to put on your cloak of +1 fun, ’cause fun is the thing we’ll be having.
Also, please feel free to email me at Jon@ReadsthePaper.com and let me know what the heck an IPO is. I act like I know, but I really don’t.
You thought there would be no paper-reading this week, what with all the Thanksgiving going down. I’m kinda disappointed in you for that.
Don’t worry, though. I’m totally the forgiving type. Here, have an episode of Jon Reads the Paper to make you feel better.
There. Now you see, there wasn’t anything to get all upset about, now was there? Don’t you feel a little silly, getting upset at a website? If not, you should.
So hey, here’s a pre-taped, speculative episode of Jon Reads the Paper for you. On Saturday, Tynan Delong and I went ahead and guessed what would be happening in the news today, and I think you’ll find we’re pretty on the nose about everything.
It’s only just now that I realized that the eleventh episode of Jon Reads the Paper comes out on 11/11/11. Eerie, no?
Today’s episode marks our first return guest ghost, in one Mister James Newstetter. Join us, won’t you, as we read about Occupy Portland, Billy Crystal, Richard Nixon, Thrillings, and grocery store gas stations.
This episode brought to you but the good, totalitarian folks at Evolution Fresh, Inc.
Things can’t be all that bad if you’ve got yourself an episode of Jon Reads the Paper all up in your grill. Today I’m pleased as punch to bring you a reading of the Oregonian with Christen Manville, preceded by a digression on Zombies and Harry Potter.
A little housekeeping: for the last couple of weeks I’ve been getting some emails about not being able to download episodes through iTunes, or even directly off the site. This was due to a robot occupation of my section of the internet. The robots have been arrested and their cameras broken. You can now download the show in peace.
This is a benchmark episode. In honor of National Coming Out Day, on this Jon Reads the Paper, I out myself as a sexist homophobe. Please open up your heart and accept me for the bigot I am.
This week, I’m reading LGBTQ News Magazine Just Out with the always hilarious, never pun-shy, Whitney Streed! This episode was truly a treat, and I assure you, there are more homophones than homophobes in this particular episode.
Today I have nobody on the show with me, because I hate people. Most of you can go suck eggs. Yeah, I said it. Don’t be hating.
So it’s just me, reading the USAToday from yesterday. It’s a pretty good one. If you were ever curious about how I felt about hackers, girls kissing girls on airplanes, or the fall television season, you are truly in for a treat.
Otherwise, you can go ahead and do the egg thing, like I asked.
For starters, I’d planned to read the Portland Community College student paper my illustrious guest Steven Wilber. Sadly, people at community college are remarkably lazy, and let things like “summer vacation” get in the way of their publication schedule.
So instead, we read hippie newspaper Alternatives. And I assure you, we have plenty to say. I’m still trying to get my finger on what exactly happens at Breitenbush Hot Springs.
Lastly, a word of warning about the audio quality this week: it’s rotten. The first half of the episode is remarkably perfect, but for the second half we decided to broadcast from the abyss RobotWorld.
So hey, enjoy this episode if you have the fortitude.
This is the first episode of Jon Reads the Paper, in which I’ll be reading the day’s newspaper into a microphone. I won’t really be doing much else than that.
Today I’m reading the USAToday from Tuesday, August 23 with Mister Shawn Fleek of The Mental State Department. So sit back with a glass of an appropriate beverage, and think back to where you were…yesterday.